Independent thinking
To put a handle on PCs attitude/behaviour her mother decided to put her in a boarding school. Although this was difficult for PC or any child for that matter initially, she did learn to become independent because of her boarding experience. Similarly her mother sent her abroad while she was in her teens. This was a brilliant way of inculcating independent thinking into PC. For anyone who is trying to nurture their daughter/sisters or any child for that matter must consciously think about inculcating this quality in their children. This is especially important for the girls that are brought up. Being independent would make them confident enough to make their own decisions, their own mistakes and thus paving their own way to their achievements and not be limited by patriarchy.
Bullying
Her confidence was shattered when she was bullied in US at her school. It was regained back when she came back into the same nest with her parents in India. Having good friends and supporters helped her regain her lost confidence.
“It is ok to expect to be treated with respect no matter whom you are dealing with”
PC was doing a scene where she’ll have to remove her clothes one by one. So she requested the director if she may add more layers of clothes so that she has to take off a lot more. Her director mentioned disrespectfully “Chaddi nahi dikhegi“. Due to this kind of behaviour she chose to not continue with the movie and withdrew. This is something to admire and learn since most of the people either never raise their voice or would have just given in to such demands.
Work ethics
This shouldn’t be a surprise but she has had a strong commitment and work ethic for her work. She was an outsider and because of her hard work made it big not only in Bollywood but Hollywood as well. Work was also her coping mechanism to deal with her father’s prolonged illness and death. She went for shooting mary kom 5 days after her father died.
Story of the nameplate
PC noticed that her mom and dad’s names were present on the name plate outside their house but hers wasn’t. When she asked her dad why my name is not there even though I live along with you guys, her dad added her name and qualification which was UKG at the moment, to the nameplate. I liked this because from very early on in her childhood she was being conditioned to be proud of what she is, of her existence and to ask for what she feels is right. Such mental conditioning has a major impact on any child about his/her self image.
Quotes
“Don’t be afraid to standup for yourself. Nobody else would.”
“Control is an illusion. Sorrow happens. Sadness happens. Failure happens.”
Who should read this book?
Everybody. But especially parents who are bringing up girls. I think there is a good deal of stuff to learn from PC’s mother in this aspect.